someone’s favorite author

I’ve never been shy to remind all of you how powerful words are. This is the reason I like quotes so much—a few perfectly places words right at my disposal without having to read a whole book just for those 10-100 words. However, don’t get me wrong, reading a book never fails to bring positive vibes into your life. Reading of any kind is good for the soul. Quotes are just quick inspiration.

A few nights ago I wasn’t able to sleep. After staying up all night, I went to the gym at 5am. When I got home and still didn’t feel very okay, I decided to go on Pinterest and scroll through some quotes. I wasn’t necessarily looking for anything—it was more of an aimless task. A picture popped out and grabbed my attention. It was handwritten, in a cursive sort of way, so I had to enlarge it in order to make it out.

Someday, you will be someone’s favorite author.

Whoah. I’d always had that thought somewhere in my mind. But, never was it put so simply—though, I’ve never been known for simple. So, to think of that sentence now…someday, I’ll be someone’s Elizabeth Gilbert, Veronica Roth, Rupi Kaur, etc. How insane…? Being that for another means I’ll have to reach a level of success. It may even mean a level of fame. I like the success version of those two parallels best, though. And, I believe I’ll make it.

Getting there is going to be a process. It’s going to take a lot of standing up for myself, a lot of work, and a lot of sleepless nights. I’m pretty solid on all of these things. Sadly. But, let me tell you a little secret about my life right now. I’m frozen. So much is happening that’s taking my attention and pointing it every direction that’s not my writing. I feel like I’m being ripped away from the one thing that keeps me, me. And, while things are going bad in most aspects of my life, it makes me afraid to even try and write. I can’t risk ruining this thing. Then I wonder,

maybe I already have; maybe it’s too late for you. You launched this new site and things have only seemed to go downhill.

~

STOP. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to pretend that your life is a storm you can’t protect your soul from. Kelsi, you are the damn storm. You and I both are sick of this down version of you. Let’s get up and do something about it. Fix it. Accept it. Change it. Do whatever it is you have to do to make your life YOUR life. 

~

It’s okay to mope. It’s okay. However, you can’t let it consume you. On some deeper level, you always have to understand that the sun still shines bright behind the storm clouds; you have to accept that clouds are constantly moving…it’s not possible for them to stay above you forever. That’s hard, though. Isn’t it? How do you even begin to imagine the sun when you’ve seen nothing but darkness for so long. What does the sun even look like? I know some of you feel like everything is trying to pull you down. I get it. I’m going through the same thing. I’m accepting it (even though it pisses me off so much to have to accept darkness) and I’m letting myself feel it. After that, It’s time for me to do something about it.

Someday, I am going to be someone’s favorite author. I’m going to have a successful website. I’m going to have written so, so many words. I’m going to make an impact. I’m going to work. It starts now. It starts with the struggle. Every good thing that there ever was, has been the outcome of something not-so-good. Every successful person has their own tragic story that fueled them right into the arms of greatness. Use your story.

pin it!

The only way you’re ever going to get out of that darkness is by doing something about it. It just takes one step to begin that process.

Go for a walk.

Write down what you’re grateful for.

Play with your pet.

Exercise.

Paint.

Draw.

Meditate.

Do some yoga.

Watch your favorite movie.

Watch anything that you know will make you smile.

Read a book.

Watch the sunset.

Stare at the stars.

Get up early enough to see the sunrise.

Go sit by the ocean, or a lake, or a river.

Listen to your favorite song.

Complete a puzzle.

Write a to-do list and stick to it.

Start waking up early.

Go for a long drive. With or without music.

Sit on a roof (I don’t know what it is about being on a roof. Just trust me.)

Listen to the birds.

Listen to the wind.

Listen. Just listen.

I think we both know I could drag this list on forever. So, what are you going to do? I know what I’m going to do. Probably, like…all of these things. But, I’m going to start with my writing. I’m not going to let some wimpy dark cloud take away my sunshine. I will always write. Even if it’s just a sentence. I’ll always be here. I’ll always keep fighting. And, someday, I’ll be someone’s favorite author because of it all.

-Kelsi

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